Entry: The Search

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I put so much pressure on myself. This need, to have everything figured out and make some sense of why it all happened the way it did, and why I'm not handling it like I am expected to. Everyone's trying to look beautiful, but, you know what I learning? Life, is ugly, just as it is beautiful. Hard work, is ugly. Faith, is ugly. Fighting for your life, is ugly. Humans, and this system that we built, is ugly. And, it is okay to want to be beautiful, I'm not saying there is nothing beyond ugliness. But, I feel as if we are losing in touch with reality, the pure reality of human beings. Everyone is racing to be the best, the richest, the most famous, the prettiest, the brightest, but, have you ever stopped to wonder, that even the most beautiful things we spend our lifes searching for, are made up of the ugliness we keep avoiding. Is anything ever beautiful, without being ugly? So, really, what exactly are we searching for?

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